#forever obsessed with this little freak
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He's a highly trained MI5 spy. He's also a fucking idiot. He's bisexual. He has mother issues. He has father issues. He digs around in trash. He has no sense of self preservation. He ran around on a broken leg for half a season and then got blown up by a grenade. He speaks French. He's a journalist. He has fumbled bomb threats on two separate occassions. He has more head injuries then you can count. He's a freak for pain. He's been in a situationship with his rival for 10 years. He throws up when he sees blood. His mom was in a cult. His dad was the leader of said cult. He is permanently having the worst day of his life. He has the saddest, wettest eyes known to man.
I didn't say his name, but he popped into your head, didn't he?
#forever obsessed with this little freak#river cartwright#slow horses#jackson lamb#louisa guy#slough house#spook street#slow horses season 4#slow horses s4
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sidestep doodles for todayyy <3 putting ripley into the torment nexus
#crypticart#ripley hawthorn#cryptic ocs#oc art#sidestep#fhr sidestep#fhr#fallen hero#fallen hero rebirth#fallen hero retribution#had to draw him during class forever#my angry little freak of a man#all i know how to do is draw ripley in greyscale and suffering#also yeah i just needed an excuse to draw his tongue piercing. because i am obsessed with hjm
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sorry, i'm currently so obsessed with rayllum on the star spire -
"one more?" 🥺
"one more what?"🤭
"you know~" 😏
"i know." 😌
🤧...😠
"aw, don't be mad at sneezles. there'll be more kisses later." 😉
like oh my gosh i can't get over this scene - i'm so happy they're back 🥹 everyone who worked on this scene outdid themselves 10000000/10 thank you for this scene! 😭thank you for feeding me 🥹💖 i'm gonna be thinking about this scene and so many other s6 rayllum scenes for the rest of my life
#rayllum#i can't 😭#tdp s6#tdp#they're too freaking cute#Ahhhhhhhhhhh#her little wink#they way they hold each other#i don't care to be in a relationship#never been much appealing to me#but if it was something like this rayllum moment i would consider more lol#oh my gosh im obsessed with them#how am i supposed to sleep now#their little chuckles#oh my gosh the people who worked on this season especially the rayllum scenes absolutely cooked#they DEVOURED#thank you#seriously one of the best written seasons of tdp#and the rayllum scenes were absolutely some of my favorite of all of tdp#maybe i'll have to rank their moments sometime just for fun#it would be hard because i love so many of their moments#also i haven't been able to screenshot any of the scenes so sorry for lack of pictures 😔#but just know im obsessed#I gotta make some more playlists and graphics ASAP#eventually more video edits but that takes me forever unfortunately#I still haven't finished ones from the first 3 seasons or s4 i started one that really fits them in s4#and s5 too#but hopefully people won't mind if i post them way later when i hopefully actually finish them#even if it's not as relevant anymore 😅#lali talks
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Need Gus to know that 🍕 head wants Pep and he is a Lil Shit about it. Like u get what I mean right,.
This is so fucking funny 😭😭 he cant even square up to Gus bc in the same way Peppino is kind of a freak of nature by human standards, Gus is also freakishly strong for a gnome. So he just has to sit there fuming outside the shop as Peppino does Casual Shit like holding his hand on Gustavos hip as they both read this huge order or idly chatting with Gus about the football game on the mounted tv 😭
Even when Peppino (EVENTUALLY) starts to be more tolerant and amicable w 🍕head, and hes allowed to visit the shop without worrying for his doughy life, he still hates going there bc Gus WORKS there and he always seems to work the counter when he comes in. And hes always so quick to look at him like 😏 what brings you in today mr. 🍕head? 😏 like its so infuriating 😭😭😭
#answered#chattin#pepstavo#i hadnt even thought of them interacting but this is literally SO funny; im keeping this forever now#gustavo doesnt have it in him to be mean tho like eventually he stops bc he doesnt like making people feel uncomfortable#but im sure if peppino found out hed be like what??? i need u to torture than freak i MEAN it. dont feel bad for him!#but until then Gus is just a little playful about it#bc if it were the other way around Gus would be. alot upset. fhdjndkdjdkjd#pizzahead will get over it ❤️#eventually#hes a BUSINESSMAN and eventually his love of money will replace the obsession#eventually ❤️#and if not well. he still has the clone lab ❤️
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I love how Frankie said it's their life, like singular
#they're a team#they're one#i know it's not news they're together and happy and in love but it's always so mindblowing to me#and every single little thing they say about them is making me scream#they're so casual about everything after 4 freaking years together and im still here freaking out over tiny details#like when joe said they hope to have the rehearsal room piano in the house someday and it will stay with them forever#im not over it#im obsessed clearly even more than i was few months before#so if anyone wants to scream with me or at me to chill for goodness sake hit me up#frankie rodriguez#joe serafini#joe and frankie#seblos#yes im still rewatching nail painting parties if anyone's been wondering
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even though i love succession and it makes me so insane , i dont think its reached the same level of craziness i have for deh . at least not yet . i mean this makes sense considering that it started rotting my brain in elementary school & Hasn’t Stopped Since so succession is a pretty recent interest in comparison but . still
#the succession characters r on my mind very often but those little musical freaks are in my head forever#to be fair . at this point theyve basically just become my ocs so im technically not obsessing over deh as a whole & am just obsessing over#it’s characters . but its just easier to say deh especially since this is where it stemmed from#i DO think i might get close to becoming this way for succession . itll just take a while longer#inside me there are two wolves . grown conservative businessmen vs mentally ill teenagers .#txt
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continuation to this small work, cw: two freaks in love.
könig finds out you're kind of shy, a meek, pretty thing, sure, you send him such a revealing, unabashed polaroid pictures, but now, with him appearing out of nowhere at your door, giant and rugged, your fingers fiddle nervously at your own clothes, tugging down and trembling at your sides, wide eyes looking at the letter he holds in his gloved hand, from colonel, to you, name written by the way you already memorized, making you understand that it's really him.
the man you sent your nudes to, who would've know that he'd get so obsessed to try and find you like possessed dog, but you welcome him nonetheless, shuffling aside to let him in, bend his head down with a curl to his back so he would get past the doorway to your living room, dirty boots leaving a crumbs of dirt, his gear coated in things you don't want to know about, but his bright, unmovingly focused eyes look at you with a crinkle of delight, pupils could've dilate by now.
sure, könig is a little bit sad you didn't welcome him naked, or undressing at the very first sight of him, but he can work from what he got, from your shy touches when he wraps a hand around yours, for a handshake, that's it, but his by now ungloved, sandpapered fingers rub and circle around your wrist, curious, almost shuddering at the feel of your much smoother, gentle skin against his, and just this is enough to turn him on, cock swelling hard in his cargos.
he wonders if you'll let him bend you over the couch and eat your pussy from the back, or just stretch your pretty hole around his swollen cock, but you ask him questions, how he found you, why, does he wants something to eat, but könig already plans a small wedding for you two so he could make you his forever, an adorable housewife that will take care of her hard working husband with sending him pictures of her holes he could pump full after coming home.
könig tells you everything, how much times you made him cum, that he fantasized about you in any possible situation and position, dreamed of entering his quarters, and instead of a empty, boring room see you curled at his bed, his thumb tracing along your knee all the while he babbles your ears off with all disgusting, horny talks, but it's amuses you, to the point your thighs start to clench together, pressing harsh, as you lean in, watching his eyes nearly eclipse from the very little contact.
you put the letter he brought aside on the table, instead, asking your questions, and then answering his, which only contain of awkward, boyish laugh and stuttering words of if he looks the way you imagined, and könig is, a little bit awkward, in the same time cocky enough to touch you, nearly groping, looking enchanted on the outline of your breasts from beneath your sleeping shirt, before rubbing an sweaty hand against the back of his hooded head, such a silly man.
nearly jumps out of his pants when you offer him to take a bath at your place, voice mellowy and inviting, and könig trots behind you with a wagging tail when you lead the way, filling the bath full of warm water and couple drops of shower gel, making some bubbles that not really suit him, but would make the room smell nice and block out all that reeks out from him when he starts to undress, preening under your touch when you help to unclasp couple of things off his gear, könig holding down from to not shove your hand down his crotch.
it's when you join him that he gets insistent, all your shy act dropping down, your nails raking down the expanse of his toned, tissued back with tiny, reddening streaks, as könig corners you against the bathtub ceramic, moaning raggedly and humping your pussy persistently, messy, hips grinding and twitching, and the way he acts so eager and silly makes you really aroused, mewling right against his wet ear as he sloppily makes out with your neck, his hair and stubble rubbing all over your sensitive, bruised skin, sharp teeth's closing around the warmed flesh.
seems like now, you have a strange kind of boyfriend, a military colonel, a right pervert, and a pussy drunk pup that pumps your soppy, gummy cunt full of his thick, creamy release, one he kept in his balls especially for your meeting, his vision nearly blackening from how long his cock throbbed and spurted, squeezed tight by your pulsing, milking walls, enjoying your palms stroking his face, cooing at him hushed and lulling, everything könig dreamt of.
main masterlist. quidelines.
#.𐙚july's writings#konig smut#konig x female reader#könig smut#könig x fem reader#konig fluff#konig x reader smut#konig comfort#könig fluff#könig drabble#konig x reader#könig x you#könig x reader#konig x you#konig mw2#konig call of duty#cod konig#konig headcanons#konig hcs#könig headcanons#konig cod#könig cod
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It’s my Neo 3 but the biggest plot twist is he’s the oldest bc he’s in his 40s.
#i love making old people sorry#the only one of my agents that was a kiddo during the events of their game was Three#she was 16 at the time#my Four was like 21#my Eight was 18#and then there’s the dude in his mid 40s who had a messy ‘divorce’ with Octavio#(they were never dating except in Maculos’ dreams)#(longest slow burn situationship)#fellas is it gay for your short and cunty doctor to be a little obsessed with you#not if the cunty doctor/fashion designer/dancer fumbles your ass hard#by never shooting his shot and getting jealous of Callie during Splatoon 2’s events and thinking she’s trying to steal your man#(who isnt even your man)#(your man who isn’t even your man and has zero interest in callie)#sorry my favorite ship dynamic is little freak who’s obsessed with someone and guy who is completely clueless about that#Octavio picks up on the vibes Eventually but he’s got other stuff going on and just ignores it#no time to be gay boy we’re at war#Octavio thinks Mac is a little freak and kinda creepy and he’s right#but he does at least platonically enjoy his company so it is what it is#Anyway my Four is in a relationship with Callie bc she’s not a pussy and saw that squid in a cunty outfit and asked her out after the fight#Eight has a little crush on Pearl but who doesn’t. she wouldn’t act on it though because she respects Pearl and Rina too much#she doesn’t know if they’re poly or not and wouldn’t dream of asking amd risking Making It Weird#since they all live together#(my running joke will forever be that every Octoling either wants Pearl or wants to be Pearl)#they just all think she’s really cool#Acht tries to be immune to it but it’s hard not to have mad respect for a squid with vocal talent like Pearl’s#in that Pearl can and will kill with it#(R.I.P. tartar lmfao)#anyway my Three is aromantic and mostly non-verbal autism swag#she spends a lot of time with the squid sisters but mainly prefers to be alone and away from all the Agent drama#Four is a hardcore ranked battle competitor and pretty much retired from agent work like
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CLASSYRBF’S JJK KINKTOBER SPECIAL 2024 !
(CANCELLED)
ᯓ★ — welcome to classyrbf’s kinktober special! This is my very first kinktober that I’ve ever done but I’m so excited. I’m doing this a little differently compared to others, so instead of days I’ll be doing weeks instead that way it gives me time to process my ideas and fics and if id like to edit anything. Also, most of these short fics/drabbles will be horror/halloween themed in some way. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!
WEEK 1 — there’s someone in the woods w/geto suguru + 7 minutes in heaven w/gojo satoru
— there someone in the woods (stalker!geto x fem!reader): walking home from a halloween party you decided to take a shortcut, but an eerie feelings creeps up your spine and it feels like eyes are watching your every move
— 7 minutes in heaven (ghost!gojo x fem!reader): during a game of hide and seek at a halloween party, you end up locked in a small, dark closet all alone only to find out you’re not the only one hiding in there
WEEK 2 — scream queen w/toji fushiguro + freak on a leash w/choso kamo
— scream queen (ghost face!toji x fem!reader): ghost face!toji is back to make his mark on you, it just seems he couldn’t get enough of you last time (pt 2 of ghost face!toji fic)
— freak on a leash (choso x sucubus fem!reader): choso can’t seem to figure out why he’s been so horny all week, growing frustrated that he can’t properly get off, he accidentally summons a sucubus
WEEK 3 — nosferatu w/nanami kento + bewitched w/ hiromi higuruma
— nosferatu (vampire!nanami x fem!reader): it isn’t everyday where you wander into an old abandoned castle far away from the village, curious of the rumors that’s surround this place, except your quick to find it isn’t abandoned at all
— bewitched (higuruma x witch fem!reader): you have your sights set on hiromi, needy for him, greedy, but you can’t have him, and in order to make him yours forever…you turn towards witchcraft
WEEK 4 — love you to death w/ryomen sukuna + cowboys from hell w/jjk men
— love you to death (werewolf!sukuna x fem!reader): sukuna can’t help the beast inside of him when he lays his eyes upon you, becoming obsessive and seduced by your every move
— cowboys from hell (cowboy!jjk men x fem!reader): what happens when demonic cowboys rise from hell? Well of course they need to get a taste of the very pretty girl in front of them
taglist closed!
CLASSYRBF 2024
#—☆classyrbf#jjk#jujustu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk smut#toji x reader#gojo x reader#nanami x reader#geto x reader#choso x reader#sukuna x reader#jjk kinktober#kinktober#toji smut#gojo smut#nanami smut#geto smut#choso smut#sukuna smut
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Hellfire Adopts Steve Pt. 2
Pt 1
Eddie may be repeating his senior year, but he's no idiot. He's intuitive, a quick thinker, and generally, he's an excellent judge of character. Which is exactly why he protested Gareth's decision to drag Steve Harrington, the former King of Hawkins High and current King of Don't Fuck With Me, to lunch with Hellfire.
Jeff and Freak are both genuinely terrified to have His Royal Highness picking at subpar mashed potatoes in the uncomfortable plastic chair across from them; to his credit, Steve Harrington seemed unbothered by the situation, even as Princess Nancy Wheeler and her own little pet outcast Jonathan pass him on the way to their own table. Eddie watches with growing interest as Steve boredly ignores Nancy's attempt to catch his eye (it's almost hilarious- he'd been at the Halloween party last month where Nancy got absolutely shitfaced and then screamed at Steve in front of the entire student body, and yet here they are, Nancy trying awkwardly to speak to Steve and Steve resolutely going about his business).
Gareth stammers through a story about their latest DnD campaign, his round face practically glowing with excitement as he uses the peas on his tray to illustrate what their party had been up against. Eddie fully expects Steve to say something rude, dousing Gareth's smile and deserving every bit of ire Eddie can muster, but Steve just smiles at Gareth and ruffles his hand through the unkempt curls Eddie's been trying to get Gareth to take care of.
From there it only gets weirder. Steve seems to have taken a real shine to Gareth and is nothing short of a perfect gentleman to Jeff and Freak, but he loves to bicker with Eddie. Honestly, Eddie's impressed at just how much Steve seems to like bitching at people.
Steve is also surprisingly responsible? After that first lunch, Steve is around all the time; he shows up to Hellfire meetings with his backpack full of homework and a Tupperware full of something delicious (Eddie had nearly cried the first time he took a bite of Steve's macaroni), only to completely ignore their entire session to study. Occasionally, the walkie Steve carries with him whenever they aren't in school will crackle to life, and Steve will make himself scarce pretty quickly.
Overall, Steve is awesome. Eddie hates to admit it, but watching such a prim and proper guy emotionally destroy someone for commenting on Freak's size, and Eddie just knows that the damage done to Tommy Hagan's car after Gareth showed up to Hellfire with a busted lip and glassy eyes was Steve's fault.
========
Steve is actually really enjoying his time in Hellfire. He doesn't really mention it to the kids, and both Nancy and Jonathan are still avoiding him, so Steve sees it as a win: he gets to make friends who haven't seen him get his ass beat by interdimensional horrorterrors that have ruined dogs and flowers for him forever, he gets to learn more about the game his new little brother is obsessed with, and innocent kids don't have to bear the brunt of King Billy's reign of terror.
Gareth decides almost instantly that he likes Steve; not only because he saved Gareth from bullies or brings them food better even than Wayne Munson's, but because Steve always listens to his DnD stories. Jeff and Freak (who Steve will only refer to by his Government Name, Melvin) grow to like him as well, not at all encouraged by the food Steve brings or (on one memorable occasion) the incredibly realistic melee weapon, straight out of a flick like Red Dawn, that they found under his seat one day.
#steve harrington#steddie#stranger things headcanons#eddie munson#stranger things#hellfire adopts steve au#bet yall thought i was dead#but no#ive been captivated by another neurodivergent mess
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Danny Phantom is a red lantern oh no
Danny’s angry really really angry
About as angry as a dead teenager can get
Danny’s been slowly getting angrier over the last two years since the first time he called the justice league for help and he was told to stop making up stories
or stop freaking calling us kid
Or prank calls aren’t funny
or literally anything that they could come up with as long as it was not the truth
Because clearly Danny from Amany Park is a liar.
Because ghost aren’t real let’s not think about the justice league dark that exist but there’s no hotline to them
Danny just had to keep trying with the normal justice league he was stupid after the fourth time he should’ve just given up but he kept trying for over six months
And then his number is blocked
And that was the day Danny lost any and all faith that anyone would ever come to help
The next week Dan attacked
Two months after that Pariah Dark attacked
Two months after that most of his town was killed and destroyed
Two days after that he finally finds Tucker‘s body
Two days after that he’s breaking into a g I w base to get some of the people back and he finds Sam’s corpse
Approximately 40 minutes later he finds Ellie getting experimented on by his parents
No Dr. Fentons experimenting on his little sister daughter cousin
Approximately 14 minutes later the GIW base blew up
Approximately three days later Ellie was OK she looked to be about six months old and that’s a generous giving.
Jazz was also OK somehow she’s still very injured but nothing life-threatening
That was also the day Danny realize he had a ring on his finger
(A year and a half later )
Denny’s created free distinctive Lee different identities
Is Danny Nightingale A tragic orphan who managed to get his grades up after he lost everything but his sister and his daughter
Danny Phantom The ghost king fair is a calm kind of humans and would never heard any of them currently negotiating with the government for peace
And dawn The red lantern Who has a great deal against three things
The GIW and any and all sympathizers
Vlad Masters
And the justice league
He separated those free identities to the best of his capabilities with the help of all of his resources
Now with the GIW on their last leg and Ellie said to start preschool soon
And Vlad was taken care of relatively fast lift the object of his obsession being gone he was so weak
So if all that taken care of there’s only one thing left
Crush the justice league one step at a time
And who knows what he’ll do after that maybe he’ll try to figure out how to ruin Christmas forever or something equally villainess because that seems to be the path is going down (:
Whatever he’ll figure it out when it comes time
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So true. Ice would absolutely take his time making Mav fall apart at the seems just from the touch of his piercing(s). Plus, Ice seems to have a bit of an oral fixation (he's always chewing gum or snacking on something (or snapping his teeth at someone)) so I could 100% see him having one. It'd probably be a standard steel or silver stud; simple but no less effective by design.
As for the possibility of him having nipple piercings? It'd likely be the same; nothing extravagant since the act of having the piercing alone would be enough to satisfy Ice, methinks.
Oh gosh, Mav's endearingly crooked teeth plus a piercing? Ice wouldn't survive. I could see them coming to a new understanding and appreciation of them both (perhaps a bit too much. Because, in hindsight, they think that they really shouldn't have been so surprised: Ice with his frosted tips and perpetually bored and aloof yet arrogant demeanor and Maverick being... well, Maverick.
icemav but I can’t decide which one of em has piercings. Like sure earrings and shit but specifically nipple piercings. I feel like it should be Mav but a huge part of my lizard brain is saying Ice. Like picture perfect “ ice cold, no mistakes” Iceman with his nipples pierced. The 86 boys probably notice it and tease him about it, but I feel like Mav probably wouldn’t till the volleyball scene. And it would drive him fucking insane. He’d start finding any and every excuse just to press against Ice In some way. It’d just become his little obsession.
do y’all see the vision or does this not make sense???
#they jump each other at the earliest convenience#they're both going insane because they NEED to get their hands on each other and if it doesn't happen Right Now they'll lose it#i love it when those two freaks are obsessed about the other always and forever about every little detail#there is nothing normal about those 2 and i support them wholeheartedly#the poor '86 flyboys.... they've been through so much icemav peacocking and unconventional mating rituals#but then again it probably gets worse when icemav finally get together because they're now scheming as a a duo#the navy never stood a chance#top gun#icemav#tom iceman kazansky#pete maverick mitchell#god this was such a word vomit but i regret nothing
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tomblr discourse in the monster high universe must be something else.
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💝 lalalala Follow
What would I do without cherry smoothies... probably die again 💔
🟥 b3lfrypr3pz-deactivated09182022
Of freaking course the frilly daywalker is a vegan 😒 bet you do witchcraft too you dirty hippie
💝 lalalala Follow
🝢🜊🝣🝗🜚🝰
🟥 b3lfrypr3pz-deactivated09182022
WTF is that lol
🟥 b3lfrypr3pz-deactivated09182022
i t burns. wh at did you do to me .
💝 lalalala Follow
^-^
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🧠 msdeadfast Follow
Ok but Dead Fast: Night of the Living (2002) has no business being considered the worst Dead Fast movie when the MCU (Murder Cinematic Universe) not only retconned his origin story to make him a virus zombie rather than a curse zombie (which throws off his entire arc about being something more than his deeds!) AND made him be allied with B.L.I.G.H.T. of all organizations because Like say what you will about NOTL and the forced heterosexual romantic plot but at least 1) it gets what makes Dead Fast a hero and 2) GIVES HIS LOVE INTEREST A PERSONALITY AND SOMETHING TO DO
🕷️ 8legscomix Follow
Literally
Also they made the villain Dr. Igorable's motivations so laughable like..... so his wife got turned into a zombie and he wants to cure her? Ok? Did she ask for it? She doesn't even have any groaning lines. Im not even a zombie but that was offensive as hell. Like in the original comics he wants to straight up undo all forms of zombism forever
🧠 msdeadfast Follow
NO FR LIKE....... so suddenly the eugenics obsessed human is tragic because being a zombie must be such a tragedy you guyyyysssss -_- and wanting to get rid of an entire monster type is ok. I swear that movie has turned monster attitudes towards zombies back into the 80s
⚠️ mentalhealth-hazard Follow
I am not sure if I'm overstepping here but, furthermore, the addition of Pendulum to the movie was unnecesary. Stereotyping shapeshifters as untrustworthy and traitorous is something of a past era. Either leave the character behind, or change it entirely.
🧠 msdeadfast Follow
Jackson I love you and I love your takes. but you type like a Victorian in his deathbed ;-;
⚠️ mentalhealth-hazard Follow
The MCU is so dreadful, it's irrevocably turned me into one.
#It has also substracted years off my lives.
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🌊 lacriatura Follow
🦈🦐🐠🪸🐡🐟
^ aquarium!
#lagoona's originals #ocean #sealife #ah-! so refreshing <- aesth tag
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🔥 666firepit666 Follow
Not to vague anyone but some of you have to shut the freak up about the ocean. You don't see me making little dioramas of the Malebolge because I'm not a little cringelet like you lmao
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🌊 lacriatura Follow
If you don't freaking love the ocean don't follow the ocean tag. Yes that goes for @666firepit666, square up and fight me if you're so brave Heath!!!!
#lagoona's originals #personal #more skulls for my skull collection!!!
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🌙 wolf-in-chic-clothing Follow
Day 1 no toxic doomed yuri
🌙 wolf-in-chic-clothing Follow
WRONG SIDEBLOG
#stop reblogging this
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🔩 stitchez Follow
Got a new arm! Can't wait to try it out!
🐯 ninelives Follow
try it out how 🤨
🔩 stitchez Follow
Building a wretched creature out of corpses, of course!
🔩 stitchez Follow
OH that was a double entendre! You should be ashamed of yourself!
🔩 stitchez Follow
I would never use my arms for violent purposes!
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🔥 666firepit666 Follow
Lagoona dragged me into the pool and now my hair is out 😡
🌙 wolf-in-chic-clothing Follow
Skull issue.
🧠 msdeadfast Follow
skull issue
👻 ghostlygossip01 Follow
Skull issue. Take the L
💝 lalalala Follow
Skull issue ^-^
🐯 ninelives Follow
skull issue lmao
🔩 stitchez Follow
Skull issue! I dont know what that means but I'm sure it relates to your experience!
🎸 innerdemon Follow
SKULL ISSUEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!!
🔥 666firepit666 Follow
Your own cousin 🥲
🎸 innerdemon Follow
I AM NOT RELATED TO ANY BALD PEOPLE
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💎 scarab-g1rl Follow
Alright, who stole my sinister amulet?
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The hunters of Artemis, Reyna, and Asexuality in Riordan's writing
I kinda started thinking about this since Reyna became a hunter. I could never articulate why I hated this Choice. I was asexual after all. Shouldn't I be happy about this rep? We Ace people barely get any after all. Then I realized that it's because I just didn't like the hunters as ace representation. And I didn't need to be grateful for mediocrity.
You want to know why the hunters of Artemis suck in general? And as Ace rep specifically? Because Riordan did not write them with that mindset.
Like people are so busy hailing this man as the king of representation in literature(blegh) that they forgot how heteronormative and white(sometimes racist) the original series was. Y'all really think this man was thinking about writing asexuals in the year 2007? Get real. What Riordan was doing was a white man trying to write feminism and failing (there's a reason most of his female characterization of female characters boils down to tough "not like other girls" characters who are dicks to the boys around them yet also to the girls around them if they're jealous)
Now onto the hunters.
The hunters when first presented in TTC are not a group of asexuals but rather religious celibates. Fantasy Pegan nuns if you may. The first problem arises when their ages are brought up.
"Then the archers came from the woods. They were girls, about a dozen of them. The youngest was maybe ten. The oldest, about fourteen..."
Remember, before ToA gave us Emmie and Jo, the hunters WERE all young girls. Now why in the world are they so young? Especially when in the actual myths, the hunters could come from any age whatsoever? Well the reason is a doozy.
"Are you surprised by my age?" she asked.
"Uh… a little."
"I could appear as a grown woman, or a blazing fire, or anything else I want, but this is what I prefer. This is the average age of my Hunters, and all young maidens for whom I am patron, before they go astray."
"Go astray?" I asked.
"Grow up. Become smitten with boys. Become silly, preoccupied, insecure. Forget themselves."
Hooo boy. What a way to phrase it. Going astray. Losing themselves. This kinda confirms that the reason why Artemis goes after young girls specifically is because she only wants girls who have yet to finish puberty. Girls have yet to discover their own sexuality. Now I'm not a representative of Asexuals everywhere, but I'm pretty sure most of us don't discover our sexuality at the age of ten. Let alone have the maturity to decide to become celibates about it. And let me reiterate: celibacy is not sexuality. Sure asexual people CAN choose to be celibates but it's not the same thing at all. In fact Zoe and Thalia are big cases for this. Both of them had liked men before(herakles and luke) but joined for their own reasons. Thalia to escape the prophecy and Zoe out of heartbreak. Hell, Bianca herself is mostly swayed by the idea of having no responsibility and a new family.
Now Rick does another thing that goes against the myths. The exclusion of make hunters. Artemis frequently hung around or taught male hunters who respected her. Daphnis, Scamandrius, freaking Hippolytus whom Artemis greatly cared about. Oh but we need to come up with bullshit reasons why Nico can't just join the hunt with his sisters so the hunters of Artemis are all: Ewww men. Also note how at no point does Riordan mention people who fall in love with women.
Now the next point is the oath itself. Artemis says this:
"What oath?" I said.
"To forswear romantic love forever," Artemis said. "To never grow up, never get married. To be a maiden eternally."
When I tell you that Emmy and Joe were retcons . Rick was freaking INSISTENT on the hunters being kids. Also note the three points: to never fall in love, to never get married, to stay a maiden.
I mean I think I don't need to explain why obsessing over the virginity of young girls is creepy. Does Riordan think girls older than fourteen can't keep it in their pants? And let me be adamant here Riordan only cares about the virginity Clause here. He mentions falling in love and marriage because he sees them inherently intertwined with sex.
Now onto the wording of the oath itself:
'I pledge myself to the goddess Artemis. I turn my back on the company of men, accept eternal maidenhood, and join the Hunt.'
I mean you might be able to interpret men here as mankind and therefore excluding women as well. But I have many reasons to believe that Riordan didn't even CONSIDER women as a possibility(someone inform this man that lesbians existed smh 😞). Also note that falling in love is not mentioned in the actual oath but maidenhood is.
Now onto the next big issue. Percy Jackson's Greek gods and its chapter on Artemis. It basically confirms all of my problems.
"IT’S NOT THAT ARTEMIS HATED ALL MEN, just most of them. From the moment she was born, she knew one critical fact: Guys are kinda gross."
No mention of girls. In this chapter Percy(Rick) brings up Artemis' disdain for dudes over and over again.
“Let me be a maiden forever, Father,” Artemis said, twirling her finger in Zeus’s beard. “I never want to get married.---- But you can grant me a bunch of followers: ocean nymphs, river nymphs, wood nymphs—what the heck, how about mortal girls, too? Any girls who want to join me can become my followers, as long as they remain maidens like me. They should probably make the decision when they’re about nine years old, before they get interested in boys, because after that, they’ll be all distracted and of no use to me.”
Yikes yikes yikes. Ladies and gentlemen the age has been lowered to 9. Freaking 9. Also I guess girls older than that don't need Artemis' protection then? (the real problem is that older/married girls should be out of Artemis's jurisdiction and under the protection of other gods like Hera, Hestia, and Ares. But Hestia is barely there. Hera is terrible and the Amazons also suck)
Now when I tell you that Artemis' big point was about virginity, I mean it. This actually has mythological evidence.
The myths actually DO mention what happens when female hunters fall in love. Rhodopis and Euthynicus were two hunters who offended Aphrodite by choosing a chaste life so she had Eros make them fall in love. However note that they weren't booted out of the hunters for falling in love, but rather after having sex in a cave. THAT was what Artemis took offense to.
Another myth is the story of Aura. A huntress who offended Artemis by comparing their breasts(Greek mythology am I right?). Saying that her breast were better than Artemis' because they were smaller and hey maybe that means that Artemis isn't actually a maiden. Artemis punishes her by making her lose her VIRGINITY. She goes to nemesis for revenge. Nemesis goes to Eros who makes Dionysus fall in love with Aura and when Aura refuses his advances he ties her up and... Yeah you can guess where I'm going with this.
But hey! Those myths aren't in the Greek gods book. You know which myth is? The myth of C(K)allisto. And this one angers me so much I want to chew on the drywall.
The way Riordan writes it. Zeus turns himself into Artemis, brings Kallisto's guards down with the disguise, gets close to her and then when Kallisto REJECTS Artemis' supposed advances, forces himself on her. I need to say this again. Kallisto does not fall in love, she isn't seduced, she does not break her oath. But we still need a reason for her to be yeeted out of the hunters so her lack of maidenhood it is
“You were my favorite,” Artemis said. “If you had come to me immediately, I could have helped you. I would have found you a rich, handsome husband and let you settle into a new life in the city of your choice. I would have allowed you to retire from the Hunt with honor. You could have gone in peace. Zeus’s assault was not your fault.”
Kallisto sobbed. “But I didn’t want to lose you! I wanted to stay!”
Artemis felt like her heart was breaking, but she couldn’t show it. She had rules about her followers. She couldn’t allow those rules to be broken, not even by her best friend. “Kallisto, your crime was keeping the secret from me. You dishonored me, and your sisters of the Hunt, by not being honest. You defiled our company of maidens when you were not a maiden yourself. That I cannot forgive.”
I want to slap this man so hard he flies to the opposite side of the universe. We are not here to blame victims of assault guys! Except we are! But with extra steps. If you get attacked, it's not your fault, but If you are too scared to admit the truth then you deserve to lose your only safe space and turn into a bear. Oh nooooo Kallisto DEFILED Artemis' company by being an icky non virgin. The moment you lose your virginity even if it's not your fault you get punished. But not because I'm gross but because YOU lied. How terrible! And he expects us to feel for ARTEMIS???
But rosabell! This is how things go in the myths. What was uncle Rick (bleghhhh) supposed to do? I don't know... Choose a different version of the story? There are versions were Zeus/Hera are the ones who transform Kallisto into a bear. There are versions where Kallisto actively CHOOSES to sleep with Artemis. Granted it's still assault because she's being lied to but at least then, she'd have a degree of autonomy in the events. At least Artemis could rightfully accuse her of breaking her oath. But noooo, Riordan doesn't know lesbians exist. He actively makes Zeus into a canonical Ra*ist. Why is he on the throne again?
(the fact that this book came out AFTER HoH y'all ��)
Once again, Riordan sees maidenhood(virginity)/love/marriage as intertwined. This is NOT what being on the aroace spectrum means. You can fall in love but not have sex. You can have sex but not fall in love. You can have sex AND still be an asexual. You can be married and still be a "maiden". Riordan doesn't get to claim to be such a progressive ally for retconning the hunters in 2017, TEN years after he first introduced the hunters because he suddenly remembered that lesbians exist.
Or more like because he doesn't know what to do with his female characters. The hunters more than anything are Riordan's heroine dumping ground. If you don't want it put them in relationships, either kill them(Bianca whose main purpose is to die) or make them eternal virgins(the hunters, Rachel). The fact that some people genuinely think that Calypso should have joined the hunters astound me. Girl suffered for years because of the gods and you all think that the best thing outside of Leo for her(not that I like Caleo) is to become a servant to the gods? Because you can't perceive a female character doing anything else if she's not in a relationship. Like with Thalia, this at least made sense on a strategic level because she didn't want to reach sixteen. Oh but we also don't know what else to do with her so she needs to want to be a hunter after the war is over so we give her a half-assed argument with Luke and now she can be all: wah wah Zoe you were totally right about boys. And the cherry on the cake is that she doesn't even get to be in the final confrontation with Luke or say goodbye to him because of a freaking STATUE. And after pjo her personality becomes Zoe 2.0 and her and Jason get ONE measly meeting.
When I first spoke of not liking Renya joining the hunters this is what I mean. Riordan had so many options with Reyna. Why did she have to leave her esteemed position which she worked so hard for? Two boys rejected her? Why couldn't she go reconnect with her sister more then? She could have joined the Amazons. But nooo Riordan was so allergic to the fans asking him wether she could be Bi or a lesbian. For the stupidest reasons too? Oh Reyna being a lesbian would come off as stereotypical because she got rejected by two guys beforehand! My dude, do you think people don't say the same thing about us who are on the aroace spectrum? That we say we are aro/ace because we got rejected before? Come up with a better excuse next time.
My brother in Christ couldn't even allow Reyna to talk about her sexuality and whatnot. It couldn't even be fully about her. No. He had to turn Reyna into his own mouthpiece admonishing the EVILLLL fans who may have shipped Thalia and Renya. He literally had her say the word "shipping". How cringe can you get? And then he had the audacity to admonish the fans by saying: Why does a strong friendship always have to progress to romance?
It's a sentiment I agree with but coming from this man, it's extremely hypocritical? I don't know Richard maybe because YOU are obsessed with shipping? No character can escape your shipping hands unless they're eternal virgins or dead. You literally turned the Argo2 into Noah's ark2. So much attention focused on shipping that the seven barely felt like friends.
Why does Reyna need to join the hunters? She can choose to not relationship without having to become a servant to female Peter pan.
This is actually a really adequate metaphor when you consider that Emmie and Jo say that they have not met Artemis in YEARS and Apollo mentions that the two of them were lucky she let them LIVE. god can you imagine joining Artemis when you are 9? At an age when you have still not finished maturimg cognitively and therefore shouldn't be trusted on taking a freaking celibacy vow(were you even given the talk yet that age) and after 70 years you decide you want to leave? If you're lucky Artemis will part with you on good terms but SIKES every person you probably knew before joining is now dead. Where is THAT angsty Bianca fic?
Speaking of Bianca. How she was handled also angers me. In another post, I've already talked about how the hunters barely gave her adequate information before letting her join.
How Zoe was the main reason for her death. Zoe KNEW that at least 2 people might die in the quest she was given and yet she decided to bring the least experienced girl to the quest and couldn't even watch her properly.
But you know what else pisses me off? The fact that THEY should have been the one to tell Nico about his sister's death. I've always hated how Chiron made Percy the CHILD tell Nico the other CHILD about his sister dying. But more than anyone, it should have been the hunters' responsibility. Bianca was THEIR responsibility. She died in a quest to save Artemis. The least they could do was tell her remaining family of her fate. The Doylist reason of course is that we need to kickstart Nico and Percy's complicated relationship and have Percy discover that Nico is a son of Hades. But in universe, the fact that they immediately fuck off from the camp upon regrouping makes them come off as extremely selfish. We don't even know if Bianca was given a funeral by them or not. We see Artemis being upset about Zoe but we never see her react to the news of losing Bianca.
#pjo#percy jackson#the hunters of artemis#bianca di angelo#zoe nightshade#reyna avila ramirez arellano#reyna ramirez arellano#pjo reyna#asexuality#aromantism#aroace#lgbtqia#come on people#it's 2024#we don't need to be happy with mediocrity anymore#rr crit#rr critical#anti rr#rick riordan critical#anti rick riordan#rick riordan criticism#rrverse#riordanverse#pjoverse#percy jackson and the olympians#trials of apollo#toa#pjo hoo toa#percy jackson and the titans curse#the trials of apollo
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SNIFFLE miro, miro claus !! 。°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°。 happy holidays to you my sweetness !! oh how adorable and precious me & sweet armin look <3 this is the greatest gift i could’ve ever received !! i’m giggling and squealing as we speak 🥹 i appreciate and love you soso much, thank you for this precious present !! 💝
( @satorisoup ) — ARMENE , LENE & ARMIN !
dearest lene,
happy late holidays, lene !! so sorry that this took a while to post, i actually already finished it much earlier but didn't have the time to post it ... anyways ! i decided to make your request a matching icons one !! i drew you and armin receiving gifts from one another :3 armin gave you a giraffe stuffed toy and you gave him a fish one, specifically a goldfish one ! ( i didn't know which fish fitted him tbh ... ) i hope that you had a wonderful christmas and i hope that you love this drawing as much as i love sketching and coloring it. happy late holidays again and love ya so much !!! (*´▽`*)
sincerely, miro claus
#WAHHH look how freaking cute this is !! T^T#EHSHHEEHHESHHA IM SCREAMING !! ^o^#the details OH im so soggy </3#my eyes sparkling and his little smile PLEASE !!#we look so squishable and adorable !!#you captured armene’s essence so incredibly perfect miro 💝#your art is truly a treasure !!#the giraffe OH MY GOODNESS and his little fishie </3 this has me crying at 10am#my hair is so cute THE SHADING !! THE EVERYTHING !!!!!! OMIGOODNESS !!#this is better than perfection !! <3#im absolutely obsessed >//<#WE LOOK SO CUTE </3 we’re so in love !!#forever holding this sososo close to my heart !! THANK YOU x♾️ FOR THIS EEEEK !!!!!#omw to go give my cutie minnie a smooch 💋#𐙚 — armin
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Update to this prompt I posted a little while ago. Scroll to the bottom for a link to the story.
Tim gets injured while not wearing his suit one night.
Bernard, who has never met Tim before, finds him and takes him home. He ends up losing his memory and Bernard decides to let him move in while he heals, unaware that he's really Red Robin.
Bruce and the rest of the family can't find Tim anywhere.
Days turn into weeks.
Weeks turn to months.
All without a trace.
Tim and Bernard are getting used to living together, and both the pros and cons of being roommates.
Tim will sometimes have nightmares or flashbacks, but he’s also started to heal.
His family ends up torn, with Jason, Dick, and Steph convinced he’s alive, while Bruce, Cass and Damian have all resigned themselves to believing that he died.
One night, Tim and Bernard take a nighttime walk to a convenience store and witness a robbery.
Tim stops the guy on instinct and has a flashback of fighting with Nightwing. He assumes he was a criminal and runs off before the clerk can thank him.
Something the clerk mentions to Officer Dick Greyson when he arrives to arrest the thief. The clerk hands over the surveillance footage, which ends up being proof that Tim survived.
Dick is overjoyed, but Steph and Jason point out that he isn't being held hostage. He's free and yet never contacted them.
Was he in hiding?
From them?
Or for his own protection from someone?
Or maybe the civilian he was with had done something to him?
Whatever the reason, they decide against telling the rest of the family until they can figure out what's going on.
They begin following Tim, keeping their distances.
Tim, meanwhile, after ‘remembering’ being a criminal, can't stop obsessing over his scars, and who he might have hurt to receive them. He keeps thinking about the convenience store clerk and Bernard, wracked with guilt about all the things he may have done.
Bernard stays by him the whole time, doing his best to calm him down.
Tim doesn't tell him what's on his mind out of fear of being kicked out, and Bernard assumes the event was too stressful for him and doesn't push him to talk.
Eventually, the two of them fall asleep together, and Tim promises to make up for his past crimes by protecting Bernard. Things gradually go back to normal with Bernard going to work and Tim, who has no valid id, staying home and taking care of the apartment.
Nightwing, Red Hood, and Spoiler take turns watching Tim and Bernard.
They still haven't told their family, but know they can't just follow Tim forever.
Before they can decide on their next move, though, Cass bumps into him while grocery shopping. She freezes and he doesn't recognize her, but Dick, Jason, and Steph have to come clean.
Cass is pissed, Bruce wants to bring Tim home immediately, and Damian points out that he might not even want to come home, and that they should leave him be.
They decide that, before they make their decision, they need to talk to Tim. Maybe he really did just decide to quit.
Tim, meanwhile, has been using his free time while Bernard is at work to help people who need it. He becomes somewhat of a neighborhood vigilante, believing that he needs to make up for his past crimes.
Most of the injuries he incurs are minor and easy to hide from Bernard, but one day he takes a knife to the arm.
Bernard freaks out and tries to give him stitches in their kitchen, but then has to convince Tim to let him take him to a hospital.
Tim, not wanting to be arrested for crimes he doesn't remember committing, therefore leaving Bernard alone, argues that he's fine.
It doesn't hurt that bad.
He'll heal.
Bernard gets frustrated and shows off his own scars, which he had worked hard to always keep hidden. He explains what happened to him, and how his family disowned him as a result of ending up in the cult, and that he promises he won't put Tim in a situation where he could be in danger.
He asks to know why Tim is so adamant against going to the hospital and Tim reluctantly admits what he's pieced together from his flashbacks.
Bernard is shocked to find out that he might have been sharing his apartment with a criminal, but reasons that that must be why Tim knows how to fight.
Deciding to focus on the problem at hand, Bernard convinces Tim to at least let him take him to Leslie’s place, as she doesn't ask questions.
Leslie proceeds to ask questions, prompting Bernard to be the one to answer them for Tim.
Leslie comes to the conclusion that Bernard is answering so that Tim doesn't say the wrong thing, and only grows more concerned when she tries to subtly give him openings to slip her a message or some sort of sign that he needs help and he doesn't.
She decides that, since he's acting like he's never met her, she'll play along.
Once Bernard and Tim leave, she calls Bruce and tells him what happened.
Bruce decides it's time to step in because something is clearly wrong with Tim.
Tim and Bernard head back home and have a long talk about everything Tim's been hiding and what he's been up to.
Bernard wonders if Tim might be wrong about his assumption that he was a criminal, but Tim remembers stalking Batman, fighting with Nightwing, Robin trying to kill him and a few other things.
Tim was a criminal, and he's certain of it.
At a loss of what else to do, Bernard convinces Tim to get takeout for dinner, since neither have eaten yet.
Tim agrees and they walk down to Tim's favorite place.
On the way there, Batman and Nightwing show up and order them into the Batmobile.
Tim manages to fight off Nightwing as Batman is driving and Nightwing isn't expecting Tim to fight him and escapes with Bernard.
Their suspicions all appear to be confirmed; the Batfam believe Tim is being controlled by Bernard, while Bernard and Tim believe he's a wanted criminal.
Tim decides he needs to leave, since he's obviously being hunted, but Bernard refuses to let him.
Not alone, at least.
Tim wants Bernard to stay safe, which means away from him, but Bernard is just as worried about Tim's safety. They argue, but ultimately both find an abandoned building to hide in together.
They decide to take turns sleeping and Tim falls asleep wondering what sort of crime he committed to warrant the Bats searching for him. He ends up dreaming of the night he found his father's body and wakes up believing that he killed him.
Bernard has nodded off at this point and Tim needs to clear his head so he heads up to the roof to process what he dreamed about.
The bats decide that, for their safety and his, Tim will need to be taken by force and they can figure out what's wrong with him once they have him back home.
They track them to the abandoned building and break in, but only find Bernard.
Bernard ends up getting captured quickly and taken to the batcave for questioning.
Tim, who witnessed the abduction but hadn't been quick enough in getting down from the roof to do anything, decides it's time to go on the offensive against the bats.
He has had enough flashbacks to piece together that Batman is Bruce.
He's tired.
Angry.
Frustrated.
He's been living for months without knowledge of who he used to be and having to deal with random flashbacks and trying to piece together what his life before looked like.
The bats taking Bernard is his last straw.
He decides to start by breaking into the manor and looking for Bernard there.
Bernard, meanwhile, is desperately trying to convince Bruce and the others that he has no idea where Tim is, that he didn't do anything to Tim, and that Tim has amnesia.
They don't believe him until Tim shows up and goes all-out trying to attack them and escape with Bernard, but Bernard is the one who manages to calm him down and convince him to listen to his family.
It takes a while, and a lot of proof, but Tim finally regains his memory.
He and Bernard officially start dating and move back in together.
They like to joke that Bernard had the craziest introduction to the family, despite being a civilian.
#batman#batfam#tim drake#dick grayson#bruce wayne#jason todd#red robin#batfamily#nightwing#red hood#robin#damian wayne#cassandra cain#black bat#orphan#spoiler#stephanie brown#timber#timbern#amnesia#the outline alone#ended up being 1300 words#writing prompts#writing prompt#prompt#prompts#batdad#batfam prompt
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